mudwerks:(via Rise And Shine « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com 02/29/2012)
Can’t wait for my own children to stomp my face in.
That awkward moment when just before you’re starting your Community Service, you and the girl you picked up from the Dentist waiting room, who was having some kind of oral surgery, go out and get a few drinks, couple of Kebabs and then go straight back to her place and start with the shagging. And just when you build up a nice rhythm and you’re getting really close to blowing your load, just hovering in the pleasure zone, BAM! All hell breaks loose, you tripled yourself.
You know, triple. It’s when you cum, puke, and shit yourself all at the same time. Three bodily functions, doing the triple.
Again!?
If you don’t stomp their heads in, they will kill you/rat you out to the police/sell you out for money/etc. Might as well just do their heads in.
“How can I control myself when you’re so cute and I’m so horny and there’s only a few thin pieces of cotton separating our genitals?”
Simon-obsessed Nathan, you are my favorite incantation.
It is terrible that this resolution was heartbreaking and fantastic and terrible and hysterical and made my brains hurt.
(Source: mameshibaachan)
Let’s get to the abnormal foreplay.
(Source: sugar-spice-nd-everything-nice)
